


Loved (You are the most)

by Sunnyqueen



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Bisexual Danny "Danno" Williams, Couch Cuddles, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Steve McGarrett, Established Relationship, Established Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Forced Heterosexuality, Fuck Doris McGarrett, Gay Steve McGarrett, Healing, Healthy Relationships, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt Steve McGarrett, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Military Homophobia, Pansexual Danny "Danno" Williams, Protective Danny "Danno" Williams, Sad Steve McGarret, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Acceptance, Self-Worth Issues, Steve McGarrett Needs a Hug, soft McDanno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:40:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26759602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunnyqueen/pseuds/Sunnyqueen
Summary: “Because I’m… a sissy faggot?”Danny's breath caught in his throat and before he knew what he was doing he had flipped Steve one his back and he was hovering over him. “What did you just say?”“D-Danno?” Steve looked up, eyes open wide at the anger burning in Danny’s eyes.“A sissy faggot? A. Sissy. Faggot?”
Relationships: Steve McGarrett & Danny "Danno" Williams, Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 22
Kudos: 211





	Loved (You are the most)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LandonRichardson](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LandonRichardson/gifts).



> This one is for you because you are just a lovely person and you raise my morale with your kind words every day! I hope you like it!

There weren’t many mundane things Steve hated. He hated the CIA. He hated his team getting hurt. He hated Wo Fat and the Hesse brothers. Hated Rick Peterson and Marco Reyes. Hated Matthew Williams sometimes, when Danny got that hunted look in his face. 

But everyday things? Not so much. There wasn’t any food he hated, he didn’t mind the weather, he didn’t like dogs, but he didn’t hate them.

But that movie. 

That god awful movie.

He hated that movie.

He understood why kids liked it, a cute girly who is bullied and has super powers and gets her happy ending… But her p…

“Babe? The hell are you doing in the dark? Did the TV offend you or something?” Danny questioned as he came out of his room.

“Yes.” He grunted.

“Okay…” And just like that, Danny let the topic be. He simply pressed a kiss on top of his head on his way to the kitchen. “I love you.”

“Love you too.” Danny didn’t mind the clipped tone, he knew that when Steve was in a mood the best was to leave him alone for a while, he would come to him when he needed it.

He wondered what had been on TV that had upset him so much, it was unusual for Steve to get mad at something on it, the man had stayed up with him to watch infomercials more than once and they had never gotten a rise out of him. And there had been time where he wanted to chuck the controller against the bloody TV because they were so stupid.

Once he finished drying and putting away all the dishes and pans, he checked the TV guide to try and figure out what had happened that had turned his lover into a sour grape, because when he left him at home after dinner with the kids (they had to go back to their mother) he had been alright, all bright smiles and cuddles and kisses, just his regular goofy self that had made him fall head over heels for the SEAL.

Ah.

Found it.

He left the phone on the kitchen table, went to their room (Yes Steven,  _ our _ room, not just mine,  _ ours. _ ) and changed into the NPD sweats and a hoodie. The hoodie was actually Steve’s, if the NAVY in white letters on the back wasn’t enough, but he had said he liked seeing Danny in it. Whether it was because it was gigantic on him and gave him ‘sweater paws’ (Grace’s word, not his, thank you very much) and Steve loved seeing him like this or because it triggered his lover’s caveman brain with possessiveness he didn’t know. Didn’t care either, to be honest.

“Babe, stand up.” He said, resting a hand on the back of his neck. And Steve just went without arguing. So Danny opened the sofa and climbed on it, laying down on his side and opening his arms for Steve. “Babe, c’here, let me hold you.” He kept his face open, knowing that was the best way to get Steve to take what he needed.

And go him, because he did. Steve settled next to him, face smushed against his chest, arm thrown around his middle, under the hoodie, and one long leg shoved in between his. He didn't start immediately talking, but he rarely did, so Danny simply contented himself on running his hands up and down his back, pressing on the knots on his neck and shoulders.

* * *

Steve never felt more at home than he did when he was embraced by Danno. It felt more home than his own home did, but that house… Well, it was just that, a house. Nothing more, nothing less. A place where he could sleep, eat, swim, and have friends over for a BBQ. But ever since his mom “died” it never felt like home. And it most certainly hadn’t been since he came back. Sometimes, when Danno and the kids were over he had a ghost sensation that was how it would (should) feel, but it was always gone by the next day. 

But here, in Danno’s arms, inhaling his scent, in his house, with one of Grace’s books on the coffee table, dog-eared to hell and back, one of Charlie’s Lego pieces under said table, or the dog mat on the corner, Eddie currently snoring away on it? That was home. 

He wiggled a bit, until he could see Danno’s face, his breath catching on his throat at the love in those ice blue eyes, it caught him off guard all the time. And he knew Danno loved him, he told him every other hour, but to see it written so clearly on his face… It was the best present he would ever get.

With a sigh, he pulled away, pushing and pulling Danny until he was flat on his back and he could use his chest as a pillow, his hand back under the hoodie, fingers brushing his boyfriend’s furry stomach. He loved that feeling, the hair, the hard muscles underneath his palm. Danno was the first man he was with (and if he had any saying in it, his last), his time in the Navy meaning he had repressed everything about himself, forcing himself to like women, to not even look at men like that.

Until Danno came along and shattered all of his walls and he found himself getting closer and closer to Danno and then he just… fell in love with him when he found out that he had threatened and blackmailed a Captain until he was in a plane to get him back from the Taliban. Seeing him there, on that stool, telling off yet another captain to make sure Steve would be alright. And it had been the second time Danny had left his children at the drop of a hat to go save him.

How was he supposed to not fall in love with such a beautiful man? Inside and out? It had always been a losing battle and, looking back, he couldn’t say he had even tried to fight it.

He sighed.

He loved being like this. Most people assumed he was always in charge, that he made Danno do whatever he wanted (and that clearly demonstrated they knew nothing about Danno), that he had no vulnerable moments, but the reality was that he loved having Danny hold him, he loved laying in between Danno legs, he loved being the little spoon.

Unfortunately it didn’t always help him when he was upset. It was lessening a bit, but he could still feel the pain and the anger that movie always brought out in him.

“Stupid movie was on TV.” He finally said.

“I know.”

“I hate it.”

“I can imagine why. Want to talk about it?” And that was something he loved about him. Danny would yell and push and pull when someone (him) was doing something stupid or was planning on doing something stupid, but when he knew it was important for him, something deep and that had left scars years ago and that were still healing he would go quiet and only offer a chance to talk, and if he didn’t want to, Danny would just give soft reassurances that he was right where he belonged, and that he was loved and cherished.

“It hurts.” Danny hummed. “It’s not that they treated us like this when we were kids, we went to school, and I know dad... loved us. I understand that when he sent us away it was to protect us, but after he never… It was like he gave us up on adoption when he left us in California: like he signed Mary off to Aunt Deb and me to the Navy and then forgot about us until it was too late like they signed her off to her teacher. And I get that for her and Mary that was better but…” He shook his head, he wasn’t sure how he could put into words for his lover to understand. His lover, who came from a big, loving accepting family.

“But you can’t help be bitter that you were sent to a place you couldn’t be yourself for 20 years and that they got the happier ending.” Danny said, and he should have known Danno would know exactly what he was feeling like.

“Yeah. It’s just… Dad never really reached out and Doris… She only ever comes back or calls when he needs something from me.” They didn’t talk much about her, he knew how much Danny hated her guts. And how much Doris despised his boyfriend because according to her he was not allowing him to teach his full potential in the Navy or the CIA. Forget about her son being happy for once in his life with someone who loved him for who he was and not what he had or could give, that wasn’t important for her.

All she cared about was how he could be an asset to her.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why? It’s not your fault.” He felt Danny shrug. “I just... I don’t understand how parents can be that awful. They can’t see how special she is. How smart. They don’t love her. They forgot her in the car after she was born! And I know the movie says she liked it that way but no kid should ever be left alone, no parent has the right to make their children feel like they are worthless and make them cry.”

“No. They do not. We do not.” Danny agreed, the hand that had been resting against his shoulder blades was now cradling the back of his head, a soft, warm pressure. 

“They said there was something wrong with her, Danno. That’s why they didn’t love her, because she was too different.” Danny kissed his head, tightening his hug, feeling the distress in his voice. “Is… Is that why dad sent me to the Navy? And why mom doesn’t want me around her? Because I’m different?” 

Fuck. Danny swore in his head. Fuck John McGarrett. Fuck Doris McGarrett. Twice over, for her.

“Different how, babe? What could you have done that was so different at that age, hm?”

He looked away. They still hurt, those words. He had heard them over and over in his house, they weren’t directed at him, but they still cut deep. And then, in the Navy… He had lived with the fear that someone would use those words because they knew, not because they were simply trying to degrade him to make sure he was a good little sailor. “Because I’m… a sissy faggot?”

Danny's breath caught in his throat and before he knew what he was doing he had flipped Steve one his back and he was hovering over him. “What did you just say?”

“D-Danno?” Steve looked up, eyes open wide at the anger burning in Danny’s eyes. 

“A sissy faggot? A. Sissy. Faggot?” He growled, gripping his face harder than he probably intended. “I don’t want to ever again hear you use those words to talk about yourself. Ever. Again. Clear?” He nodded, turning his head around as much as he could so he could kiss Danny’s hand.

“I’m sorry, Danno.” He mumbled. “I won’t do it again.” That seemed to relax him some, but his grip was still strong.

“Did they ever call you that? John and Doris.”

He shook his head. “Not  _ me _ . They didn’t know, back then. Dad never knew. Our neighbour.” He explained. “Come lie down again.” He said, tugging him down and thankfully, Danny did, although he could still feel the tense line of his back and shoulders, the way his fingers twitched, like they always did when he felt like punching someone, so he interlaced their fingers, kissing his knuckles as he snuggled close again, using his partner as a pillow once more. “He was nice. He would wave at us when we went to school and so. Dad would even smile and make small talk with him, but as soon as he was out of ear shot he would call him that. So I never... “ He shrugged. “When I said that we didn’t talk about feelings in our household I meant it. And I… The first time I thought I liked boys I was thirteen or so but I knew… I knew I couldn’t say anything at home, so I didn’t.”

“And Doris?”

“She was the same.  _ Is _ the same. When I told her about us… She said I was throwing my life away, Danno.” He clenched the soft hoodie in his free hand. “That people like me would never find love, that I was better off serving my country. I guess it’s the one thing that was real about her.”

His fingers twitched again. “Sounds to me like she is just a bitter old hag.” He bit out before he tipped Steve’s head back to make sure he was looking at him. “Because let me tell you, babe, there is no one in this world that is loved more than you are.”

And Steve wanted to say something back, tell him he was wrong because he loved him more, but he couldn’t. Not when his emotions had curled into a knot and sat on his vocal cords.

“Did you ever tell anyone before me? Mary? Deb?” He shook his head. “I’m so sorry babe…”

“I didn’t know if Aunt Deb… But she was so happy when I told her. Said you were going to treat me right, like I deserved.” He confessed.

“I hope I have. I would hate to disappoint her.”

Steve nodded. “You are the best thing that’s ever happened in my life, Danny. The best, hands down. And I… I never thought I could have this. Real love, a family. I’ve got a  _ dog _ , Danno.” His lips twitched in a smile, remembering when he had been allowed to keep Eddie. “Mary got mad at me, for thinking she was anything like dad and Doris.”

“No surprise there. She is the complete opposite.” And thank god for that, he thought. “As for John well, I know I’m asking a lot, but please ignore all he ever said or did to you. Or what you think he might have done had he found out, you’ll never know. As for Doris, you let me deal with her next time she comes begging for help.”

“Danno?” He looked up, frowning at those words: what the hell was he planning to do? Because an angry Danny he could deal with, but a raging Danny? That was an unstoppable force of nature and he had learnt early on that standing in his way was the worst idea possible.

“I’m not going to murder her, I don’t need another trip to one prison or other. But I will set her straight. She’s hurt you enough times. And I hadn’t said or done anything before because she’s your mother, but after hearing this? Yeah, I’m done with her.” 

“I…”

“Steve. I’m not saying you need to cut ties with her, I’m just saying she won’t be going anywhere near you with that attitude. She’s your mom and I get it, you love her.”

Steve sighed: could he do it? Could he let her go once and for all and not hate himself if something happened to her? It’s true that he hadn’t before, but the main reason he hadn’t even tried was because she was family, his last parent alive and he had gotten her back from the dead after twenty-odd years. And because he didn’t have a family, sure, Danny and the cousins were ohana, but it wasn’t the same.

But now… Now he did. Now he had Danny, and the kids, and Mary and Joannie. He had someone to go back to, someone who loved him with all of his flaws, someone who _embraced_ those flaws and didn’t try to change him. Not his core, at least.

“I want to. And I know I can, if you stay by my side.”

“Always, babe.” The hug tightened and Steve smiled. “Not going anywhere.”

“Then you are all I need. Danny, the whole world could stop talking to me and I would be fine if you were still by my side.” He pushed up until he could kiss him, long and sweet. “Do you remember what I said whenI told you how I felt?” Danny nodded, a sappy grin appearing in his face, and Steve felt elated that he could break him of his anger with just a few words and memories. “When I said you were the love of my life? I meant it, Danno.”

“Yeah? Right back you, babe. I’ve never loved anyone more than I love you. Not even close.” He wrapped both arms around him. 

“Not even Ra…”

“No one.” He repeated as he moved to kiss him, getting lost in Steve’s mouth, the way he surrendered before he even put up a fight. 

They couldn’t say how long they stayed there, kissing and brushing hands, but by the time they parted they both had tingly lips and were short of breath.

“Let’s go to bed, you look exhausted.” Steve said, standing up and pulling Danny with him, holding his hand all the way there.

Once they both had stripped down to the boxers, Steve made himself at home again in his lover’s arms. He had longed for so long that someone would hold him like this every now and then instead of having to do the holding all the time. A Cath had done it sometimes, but it always felt wrong: her slender arms, the smaller waist, the curve of her waist and her breast pressed against him.

Looking back, he couldn’t believe he had managed to sleep with her for so long. But then again, that might be why as soon as DADT was repelled he had gone straight to Danno and told him he was gay and  _ please can you stay when I tell Catherine?  _ He had done it over the phone, which was a really cowardly way to do it, but he had needed to put an end to it as soon as possible.

And Danno was exactly what he had always craved, in the back of his mind, what he compared all the women he had slept with, even if he had never experienced it before: the meaty shoulders perfect to sink his teeth in, the expanse of his chest, no boobs anywhere, the coarse hair all over him, the cock between his legs.

He wrapped an arm around his midsection and sighed: yeah, that was definitely his home.

“Wait, babe, if you related to Matilda, does that mean I’m Miss Honey?”

**Author's Note:**

> So for some reason YouTube decided to basically spam my feed with "Matilda" clips, and I have never watched the movie. I read the books when I was a kid and mostly forgot about it. And boy did I hate those two asshole she had as parents, to call them something, and the scene of her crying in her room? Well, it near broke me (I have a very soft spot for children. Like, ridiculously soft) and my brain started coming up with this idea and really, we've gone over broken Danno a lot (still are), but a broken Steve? 
> 
> Hadn't really done that one yet, so here we are.
> 
> I hope you guys liked it!


End file.
